How can this be...adolescence again?

I don't know what's going on. I have a stupid teenage-ish crush on a boy, I'm depressed about friends leaving, a feeling I haven't had since I was in high school. I cry without wanting to or without reason at different times. I'm homesick. I feel so out of place. I'm 30...and this is bullshit.

I don't know. I just don't. It hurts and it's scary, and I may be running away soon.