New Year, New City, New Job...Newness

So it's about six days or so until I make the move to New York. I think I've finally wrapped my small mind around it, accepted it, and am finally excited about it.

I'm your traditional Catholic guilt, can't let myself enjoy something because obviously enjoyment would equal sin kind of guy. But now I'm so happy, I can't stop smiling. That isn't to say that I'm happy to be leaving my friends/co-workers in Philly, and certainly not my family. My niece is barely six months old, I fear she won't remember me or care to once I come back.

I'm almost 30. I've been talking about moving back to NYC since I graduated college in '99. So that's about 8 years of crap flowing from my mouth without me backing it up. In the past three months or so, I've actually proven that my word means something, and now I'm going to be living back in a town I love, with the friends I love.

So yes, I'm excited. I'm conflicted, but excited. I'm sad to not be living in the city that my mother and sister and niece and nephew and brother-in-law and cousins and aunts live in. But I get to live 2 blocks from my best friend and two amazingly great friends with two amazingly nice girls and a totally cute dog. I have little to complain about.

Talk to me in two months and I will tell you everything that I think will be true now is true. I'm just scared, and exhilirated and nervous, but excited, and just curious how everything will shake out.

But this will be good, if for nothing else, than to prove that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for, and that also, my friends are even more amazing that I thought.

So this is very good. Just skittish. Starting a new job is hard, in a new city, harder still, in an office with many fabulously dressed gay men that embody "urban chic" -- hardest of all.

Damned if I won't make it work though. YAY NEW YORK!