FEAR

So yeah, this isn't about that movie to the left of this text. It's not about Marky Mark, I'm sorry, Mark Wahlberg and his unhealthy obsession with "Nicole 4 Eva" -- yeah, I've watched the movie a few times.

It's about the fact that I have given myself 8 weeks 'til January 19th to get the heck out of Dodge (aka Philly). I need a job and I need an apt and I'll be damned if I won't be out of here by then.

Seven years I've yammered on about how I was coming back to NYC and how I've missed my friends (neither was untrue, but I'm a little slow on the moving forward bit, so yeah, it's taken a while).

Totally freaking out here though. I've sent out about 20 resumes and cover letters in little over a week and a half or so. No answers yet (I know, follow-up calls--so important). I'm just pretty much crapping my pants in fear that I'm not going to be able to come through in the time I've allotted myself.

Which is crap, I know. I'm smart, I'm educated, I've got experience--I can be hired.

Still scared as anything, and just appreciate that various friends and family have taken time from their lives to try and help me (be it circulating resumes, looking at apt listings or talking me down from freaking myself out too much).

So love you all, see and live in the same city as you soon.

I have two last things to say (and Ann & Dave, you'll know what I'm referencing: MEOW!!! Keep it Real!!!).

Adrienne Shelly

I have to say that I'm relieved to hear that it doesn't seem Adrienne Shelly killed herself, but it's as great a tragedy to know that some punk construction worker killed her instead. May she rest in peace.

Construction worker charged in actress' death
10:10 p.m. EST, November 6, 2006
NEW YORK (AP) -- A construction worker was arrested and charged with murder in the death of an actress who was found hanging from a shower rod in the bathroom of her apartment.

Police charged Diego Pillco with second-degree murder in the slaying of Adrienne Shelly, Detective Kevin Czartoryski said.

Pillco, 19, was picked up early Monday and was questioned for several hours until "he made statements," said Czartoryski, who would not say what the statements were.
Pillco, of Brooklyn, was expected to be arraigned on the second-degree murder charge in Manhattan, Czartoryski said. There was no home telephone listing for Pillco.

Shelly, who appeared in the movie "Factotum" last year, and was best known for starring in Hal Hartley's independent films, "Trust" and "The Unbelievable Truth," was renovating the inside of the Greenwich Village apartment she used as her residence and office. Pillco, one of the workers, was one of the last people seen going into her apartment, police said.

Shelly, whose birth name was Adrienne Levine, was found Wednesday at about 6 p.m. hanging from a shower rod over the bathtub in her apartment. Police were hesitant to label the case a suicide, observing that no note was found and sneaker prints that did not match Shelly's shoes were recovered from the bathtub.

A spokeswoman for the medical examiner's office, Ellen Borakove, said late Monday that her agency had not determined the cause of Shelly's death, whether by strangulation or other means, or whether it was a homicide.

Shelly, who was born in Queens and grew up on suburban Long Island, was raising a 3-year-old daughter, Sophie, with her husband, Andy Ostroy.

Shelly, 40, was best known for her roles in the Hal Hartley films "The Unbelievable Truth," in which she played Audry Hugo in 1989, and "Trust," in which she starred as Maria Coughlin in 1990. She also appeared as Jerry in "Factotum" with Matt Dillon.

She worked steadily during her career in film, theater and television but later turned to writing and directing, making her directorial debut with "Sudden Manhattan" in 1996. She recently wrote and directed the film "Waitress," starring Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion.

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