The Things You Learn...

So, this past weekend, being a tour guide for Philly, I learned many things, among them:

1) Don't tickle Pete. He won't like it...no, like not just not like but severely hate being tickled...and he will bruise you...SEVERELY!

2) Dave is a man whose hunger cannot be contained fully. If he starts to grumble, grab anything edible and feed him.

3) Test Icicles is almost exactly the same as testicles, but only one of the two has just broken up.

4) Trivial Pursuit DVD cannot be played to its full completion if you've been smoking any tobacco of strange derivation.

5) Hot, Steamy, Sweaty...all of these are valid adjectives for go-go boys/strippers/what have you...sticky is NOT! god no. please, don't ever use that term again ever.

6) "Philly doesn't suck." Thanks, Jenny. :)

7) Cheesesteaks will cure any hangover.

8) An almost 3 year old can speak gibberish in the same tone and cadence if he thinks he's found his audience.

9) 15 year old virtuoso drummers can pass for 21 years old in bars, if their mother, a pimp daddy grandpa and some random gay guy keep insisting it's so.

10) what?!?!

only came up with 10 for now, but there were about 10 million others...wait, one more thing:

Did you know? The names of the Hardy Boy brothers that no one spoke of EVER were Buffy & Hildegarde? True story.